quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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