Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
