Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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