this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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