The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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