If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
