Your face is a jimmy john
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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