he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
