Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I think i got beer on your cat.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
