dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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