I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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