your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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