Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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