Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
