Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
