My Higher Power is John Stamos
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
