Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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