I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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