i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
