Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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