Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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