we have officially lost it.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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