Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
