i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
