Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
