Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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