if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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