Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
