Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
