You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I could fuck to npr.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
