thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
