I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
