I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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