in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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