You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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