my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
