Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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