somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
