I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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