i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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