i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize