Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
