she looked like the bat from fern gully.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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