Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
