I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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