The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
