This girl is more easily done than said...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
