after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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