i permit you to call me
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
