It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
