Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize