so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
