Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
nutella sex= disaster
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
