Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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