you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
