It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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