but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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