I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
from now on my penis is your penis
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
