we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
