he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
