i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
