I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
