Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
