SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
